Hi There’s nothing for it... I’d fell out of love with running.
October 2018 saw me complete the GB Ultra Snowdon 50. An event which brought with it a kaleidoscope of physical and mental pain and more ups and downs than the profile map.
At the end I crossed the finish line with five minutes to spare. I took the remaining five minutes to stand and grin like a Cheshire Cat. Everything felt great.
Fast forward five months and I’m struggling to put my trainers on, both mentally and physically.
Physically, I’ve got more midriff volume than open space volume in which it can occupy when I bend over... I’m overweight and have to adopt some interesting poses when tieing up my trainers any yoga sensei would be proud of.
I’ve convinced myself I’ve not got time to run and if I do, it will be so painful and only go on to emphasis how bad things are.
Even when writing this down a part of me thinks, ‘that’s just stupid’. The problem is the other part of me which isn’t saying anything. That part of me seems to stay quiet until I’m at my weakest.
We’ll things have got to change... If not for me, then for my family and friends.
Running extends our life expectancy. I need to become healthier again so I give myself the best opportunity to see my boys grow up and experience the many chapters in theirs lives laid out, but unknown, before them.
Running also helps me reset my tolerances to all the triggers which inflame my depression.
It’s been said before, but I don’t believe it... I’m terrible to live with if I’m not running!
So I‘ve set the scene, I’m in a rut which I’ve failed on several attempts to get out of.
The plan is simple. Treat this like any other adventure. Plan my routes, organise the equipment and expect course changes.
The route...
Remember what running is. Sometimes we get wrapped up in the art of running and make it more complicated than it needs to be. I need to lace up those trainers and get out there. The goal is consistency over distance. I need to remind myself how running makes me feel and again become addicted to the ‘highs’ it provides. A single mile run is better than no run.
Organise my equipment....
Some people make themselves accountable to family and friends by defining goals. I’ve got enough on my plate trying to ‘jump start’ myself without applying extra pressure. It works for some people and has even for me in the past, but this feels different.
This blog is a piece of equipment to help me document my journey. This is the only post which I’ll share on social media though the rest of them will be viewable on my blog. I’d rather have people view it if they wish rather than have it forced onto their news feed.
I’ve got photos. I always try to take photos of the trail runs I do. They’re there to remind me of the places I’ve been and the places I’m missing out on.
Course changes...
They always happen and I’m sure there will be a few here. These changes either voluntary or involuntary will impact on the journey. I’m not sure I can plan for them. I’ve just got to accept them and even when the dark clouds encroach I need to remember the sun will come back again.
So I’m on a journey which will be made up of a series of adventures. Some will go to plan and some may not.
If any of my words ring true with you. Take solace in the fact you’re not alone. You can share my journey actively or passively. If my experiences help anyone, great.
To run again I but need to just take one step.
To ask for help, you need to ask one question.
October 2018 saw me complete the GB Ultra Snowdon 50. An event which brought with it a kaleidoscope of physical and mental pain and more ups and downs than the profile map.
At the end I crossed the finish line with five minutes to spare. I took the remaining five minutes to stand and grin like a Cheshire Cat. Everything felt great.
Fast forward five months and I’m struggling to put my trainers on, both mentally and physically.
Physically, I’ve got more midriff volume than open space volume in which it can occupy when I bend over... I’m overweight and have to adopt some interesting poses when tieing up my trainers any yoga sensei would be proud of.
I’ve convinced myself I’ve not got time to run and if I do, it will be so painful and only go on to emphasis how bad things are.
Even when writing this down a part of me thinks, ‘that’s just stupid’. The problem is the other part of me which isn’t saying anything. That part of me seems to stay quiet until I’m at my weakest.
We’ll things have got to change... If not for me, then for my family and friends.
Running extends our life expectancy. I need to become healthier again so I give myself the best opportunity to see my boys grow up and experience the many chapters in theirs lives laid out, but unknown, before them.
Running also helps me reset my tolerances to all the triggers which inflame my depression.
It’s been said before, but I don’t believe it... I’m terrible to live with if I’m not running!
So I‘ve set the scene, I’m in a rut which I’ve failed on several attempts to get out of.
The plan is simple. Treat this like any other adventure. Plan my routes, organise the equipment and expect course changes.
The route...
Remember what running is. Sometimes we get wrapped up in the art of running and make it more complicated than it needs to be. I need to lace up those trainers and get out there. The goal is consistency over distance. I need to remind myself how running makes me feel and again become addicted to the ‘highs’ it provides. A single mile run is better than no run.
Organise my equipment....
Some people make themselves accountable to family and friends by defining goals. I’ve got enough on my plate trying to ‘jump start’ myself without applying extra pressure. It works for some people and has even for me in the past, but this feels different.
This blog is a piece of equipment to help me document my journey. This is the only post which I’ll share on social media though the rest of them will be viewable on my blog. I’d rather have people view it if they wish rather than have it forced onto their news feed.
I’ve got photos. I always try to take photos of the trail runs I do. They’re there to remind me of the places I’ve been and the places I’m missing out on.
Course changes...
They always happen and I’m sure there will be a few here. These changes either voluntary or involuntary will impact on the journey. I’m not sure I can plan for them. I’ve just got to accept them and even when the dark clouds encroach I need to remember the sun will come back again.
So I’m on a journey which will be made up of a series of adventures. Some will go to plan and some may not.
If any of my words ring true with you. Take solace in the fact you’re not alone. You can share my journey actively or passively. If my experiences help anyone, great.
To run again I but need to just take one step.
To ask for help, you need to ask one question.